hi, how are you ? nice to meet you here. On this lovely occasion, i would like to express my gratitude to my God who has given me good health condition. Keep in touch and have a nice day... Meanwhile, i would like to thank you for entering my own blog. Hope that we can share communicate and share something for mutual information and get along each other. have a nice day and keep in touch. yours, nizam
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20 December 2009
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27 November 2009
How to Make Long Distance Relationship
I really don't think anyone — at least not any woman and man — intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with him in town, then he movesout of town. Or you meet him at a military installation, and suddenly one of you gets shipped out. Or maybe you hooked up with a scrumptious man while vacationing, but who can afford to fly to overseas every weekend?
It is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. Difficult but not impossible.
Love Across the Miles
I must admit that I have had a few such relationships and not all of them turned out well. But through those experiences I have found that there are keys to keeping the romance alive, if both parties are willing and determined to make it work. Keep in mind that the length of time you had to get to know the person before you were separated will have a lot to do with how successful your long-distance romance will be.
- Define Your RelationshipOne of the first things you should do with your long-distance sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward: Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it's convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love affair? Determining limits is of the utmost importance, because as things get difficult, it will help ground the two of you if you know the boundaries of your relationship. It will also help avoid heartache later because you will both know where you stand.
- Be HonestThis is very important, and I don't just mean disclosing the superficial things (like where he was when you called and he didn't answer). You must be willing to discuss more sensitive issues, too, like your sex life. If this relationship is to really hold its ground, talking openly and honestly about your sexual needs is one of the biggest keys to success. Generally speaking, communicating openly with your partner about your sex life will allow you to find out if the other person is truly committed to you physically as well as personally. It is not an easy subject to broach, but it can be very revealing in terms of how much the two of you are willing to disclose for the sake of your love. (The only exception I would make to this regards the military: When you or your love is overseas, or fighting in a war, this kind of honesty may be way too much to handle and would be best left to discuss at a more opportune time. Encouragement would be the order of the day until you or he returns home.)
- Exercise PatienceBoy, is this one tough! I personally am not a patient man, and one of the pitfalls for me in long-distance relationships has been the waiting. I recommend that you find things to do here at home to occupy your time. If your career or your children do not keep you busy enough, get involved in some volunteer work or maybe go back to school. The key is to avoid weighing down your long-distance conversations with whining or unrealistic demands, solely because you are bored or missing the other person.
- Give EncouragementThis one is so important. I am currently in a wonderful long-distance relationship, and this aspect of it has made it so much more special. I make it a habit to always ask how things are going — with school, work or family — and then proceed to encourage him in those areas where he is especially talented. For instance, he spent some time playing basketball and talking to his son the other day and I was so proud of him because, as a single parent, he is determined to keep the lines of communication open with his teenager. I let him know that and he appreciates it. He also helps me. I am currently trying to prepare for an algebra exam — I am horrible at math — and he is very good at it, so it makes him feel good to be able to assist me. We just do the problems over the phone. Encouragement, assistance and praise work well over email, too. It's also a good idea to "smile over the phone" as much as possible. A good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling especially needy can make both of you feel better.
If you follow this advice, you will be on the road to making your long-distance relationship last. Even better, it may end someday with the two of you finally in the same place, having learned so much more about each other simply because you had to put in a bit more effort.
Hari Raya Kurban Idul Adha
29 October 2009
How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 minutes
How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.
Perhaps you’re a rather nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just as a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping. All that a lack of belief will do is make it take longer, so if you’re one of those people, just change the number 20 in the title of this blog entry to 40 (or 60 if you’re really stubborn). Most likely though if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you probably won’t believe what I’m saying anyway, but even so, what’s the risk of investing an hour just in case?
Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”
If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).
So how to discover your purpose in life? While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.
Here’s what to do:
- Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
- Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
- Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
- Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.
That’s it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.
For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.
As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.
At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.
You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.
It’s important to do this alone and with no interruptions. If you’re a nihilist, then feel free to start with the answer, “I don’t have a purpose,” or “Life is meaningless,” and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually converge.
When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I reached my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini-surges) appeared at steps 17, 39, and 53, and then the bulk of it fell into place and was refined through steps 100-106. I felt the feeling of resistance (wanting to get up and do something else, expecting the process to fail, feeling very impatient and even irritated) around steps 55-60. At step 80 I took a 2-minute break to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and to focus on the intention for the answer to come to me — this was helpful as the answers I received after this break began to have greater clarity.
Here was my final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.
When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.
Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.
If you’re inclined to ask why this little process works, just put that question aside until after you’ve successfully completed it. Once you’ve done that, you’ll probably have your own answer to why it works. Most likely if you ask 10 different people why this works (people who’ve successfully completed it), you’ll get 10 different answers, all filtered through their individual belief systems, and each will contain its own reflection of truth.
Obviously, this process won’t work if you quit before convergence. I’d guesstimate that 80-90% of people should achieve convergence in less than an hour. If you’re really entrenched in your beliefs and resistant to the process, maybe it will take you 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply quit early (like within the first 15 minutes) or won’t even attempt it at all. But if you’re drawn to read this blog (and haven’t been inclined to ban it from your life yet), then it’s doubtful you fall into this group.
27 October 2009
How To Choose Best Friends
How to Choose a Best Friend Confessor
Friendships are based on honesty and trust, but how do you know who you can really trust? There is always that one special friend that you would trust your life with, or more importantly, your deepest, darkest secrets.
A best friend will stand by you no matter what decision you make. A best friend will never judge you.
You love who they love and they love who you love. You are always on the side of your best friend. You love them, protect them, and make them laugh when they are crying. You forgive, you love, and you encourage.
Your best friend accepts you for who you are, all your craziness, the drunken 'my life is over' phone call in the middle of the night and all the other nonsense you both put up with for each other.
You laugh together, cry together and spend the biggest days of your lives together, like the birth of your first grand child, or the wedding of your son. You are more than a friend. You are a best friend.
Your friendship is deep, such as that of a soul mate.
Your best friend helps you through grief, or camps out in your hospital room when you're sick. It's your best friend who will talk to you for hours when you're feeling alone. Your best friend loves you to the end, even on the days you are acting like the jerk you can be sometimes.
You are truly blessed if you have one Best Friend.
How to Diplomatically Resign From Your Job
Resigning with Class: How to Diplomatically Resign From Your Job
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Are you preparing to resign from your current job? Some job-seekers have a hard time doing so, either because they love the job and their co-workers or because they can't stand the job and can't wait to leave. Curious? Then read on. This article is really two articles in one. The first part discusses the strategies behind making a graceful departure from your employer and the second part shows you how to write a letter of resignation.
So, once you are ready to announce your resignation, how can you make as smooth a transition from your current employer to your new one? You'll again want to act professionally -- and follow company guidelines. Specifically, you need to consider:
- Timing. Give enough notice. The standard notice has traditionally been two to four weeks, but you should consult your employee handbook in case your employer expects more (or less) advance warning.
- Negotiating. Be sure to get a fair settlement for any outstanding salary, vacation (and sick and personal) days, and commission payments or other compensation due to you.
- Hiring. Offer to help your current employer find your replacement.
- Training. Volunteer to train or work with your replacement to show him or her "the ropes."
- Working. Don't disappear during the last weeks on the job. Stay an active member of the team. Avoid taking a short-timer's attitude or aligning yourself with any discontented co-workers.
- Completing. Be sure to do your best to complete all open assignments and leave detailed progress reports for your supervisor and co-workers.
- Leaving. Before walking out the door for the last time, be sure you have contact information for key supervisors and co-workers that you want to keep part of your network of contacts -- and be sure to thank them again for their support.
Here are some other issues you need to be prepared for once you announce your resignation:
- Escorted out of the building. In some industries and with some professions (such as sales), once an employee resigns, the employer asks the person to leave on the spot. Be prepared for this scenario by clearing personal files and removing personal software from your computer, removing personal information and belongings, and getting your workspace organized.
- Guilt from co-workers or your boss. It's only natural, especially if you are leaving an unpleasant work environment, that your co-workers may be a bit envious and try to make you feel a little guilty. And no matter how great your boss may be, s/he may also make you feel a little guilty for "deserting" the team. Try not to let these things bother you; instead, concentrate on making the final weeks/days pleasant and professional.
- A counter-offer to entice you to stay. Be very wary of counteroffers. No matter how good it makes your ego feel to have your current employer respond with a counteroffer, most career experts advise against taking it because studies show that the vast majority of employees who accept counteroffers from current employers aren't in those jobs for very long. Whether the employer admits it or not, your dedication will be questioned, and once that happens, your time on the job is limited. It's better to tactfully decline the offer and focus on your new job with your new employer.
- An exit interview. Some employers like to have all departing employees meet with someone from the human resources department for an exit interview. Be careful -- but be professional. Some employers want to know the "real" reason you are leaving. Again, remember not to burn any bridges by saying anything negative or petty.
The most important thing to remember when writing your letter of resignation is to be professional -- there is just no sense in making enemies. Regardless of whether you loved or hated your job or your employer, the outcome should be the same: a short, polite, and professional letter stating your intention to leave.
People leave their jobs for all sorts of reasons, and you certainly do not need to provide any details on why you are leaving the company. Resignation letters are a courtesy to your employer, so you simply need to state that you are leaving your current position to pursue other opportunities.
As you are composing your letter, please again remember that your job history follows you around, and that frequently the world is much smaller than we think. You never ever want to leave on bad terms with any employer -- mainly because doing so could come back to haunt you later in your career.
When should you submit your letter of resignation? And to whom? You should submit your resignation two or more weeks before your planned resignation date (depending on company/profession policy). And you should submit the letter/memo to your direct supervisor, with a copy to your human resources office.
What exactly should you say in your letter of resignation? Here's a basic outline:
First Paragraph: State your intention of quitting your job and leaving the company. Give a specific last day of work.Second paragraph: If you feel comfortable, give a reason why you are leaving -- relocating, better job, career change, graduate school, etc. Or, reinforce your value by mentioning your key accomplishments with the employer (though doing so may trigger a counter offer).
Third Paragraph: Thank both your supervisor and the company for the opportunities you had working for them. Be sure to end the letter on a positive note.
Here are some sample resignation letters.
One final note: Assuming you leave on a positive note with your supervisor and co-workers, once you have settled into your new job, remember to contact your former supervisor and co-workers and give them your updated contact information so that you can continue to keep them as a part of your job search network (because you never know when you'll be job-hunting again).